Out for Blood

I want to
want you
so bad
and be mad
for you
but instead
I find
myself
in my head
Seeing
sighing
unwinding
wanting more

Jaded is what I am.

Faded
colors
areas shaded
dark tones
sarcasm
biting
hiding
truth abated

What is a heart for
when it lost feeling
numb
no more
Expectancy aimed
falls short

Connectivity lost
desire's well runs dry
turned off

Jaded is what they give me.

Flip me over
Grab me
Shock me
Slap me
Tell me
I am alive.
It's not all a lie
something made up
or contrived
to give meaning to our
little lives

Make believe
that's all Ive seen
I want your raw
exposed
horrible
unrefined
bleeding

That is where truth (I think)
may reside

not

The emerald jade of disgust
All about lust
Lost in mistrust
Not this time
I'm out for blood
so I can define
what the red heart is for

Bleeding is what I want to be.
Bleeding is what I want to see.

You're all alive
show me!