Dreams and Forgetting

Sometimes
I wonder
if it was all,
the stars in your eyes
the smiles
exchanges
the icy paths
the mountain tops
the alibis,
if that one fateful night
where I was not myself
where I found you
the same
sad Sampson,
was all just a dream.

We are not friends
we can try to pretend
but we cannot speak
naturally
we cannot feel
neutrally
or perhaps dear
I should speak for myself.
Because your actions
have left me
with nothing.

So, this year
I set myself free.
This year
I will not be asking
or crying
or trying

I will see you
only in those
distant, ghostly
fading dreams

Because you are not the same
sad Sampson
I am not looking for you
and I am myself.
There will be many grateful nights
with no excuses.
There are valleys
with flowers and spring,
where I am deep down
smiling
into another
no wondering
Unconditionally.