Not for Love

I am not in love

I am in the gray

I am not thinking
obsessively
obsessing
over
it

I just am

I am not on fire

I am in the blue

I am not asking
looking
longingly
for the
answer

I just am

at the mercy of this moment
held here

I don't feel
anything
I don't crave

Not complacent
no

just existing
and feeling
the nothing that is surrounding me

the nothing inside of me

Not depression

just seeing
and knowing
the moment is ordinary

nothing thinking
just being
and being me.