Tuesday, May 25, 2010

To a Gentleman Cowboy

Gentleman Cowboy:

You took over the sunny room-
sensational darkness in my ears
the art on your walls
Painting made left un-hung

I understand why you're going West
solace
sunset
manifest
It was always about you.

the routine.
the grind.
the grit.
the bind.

only the mundane
the misery.
I saw you sinking
without your horse.

You grasped the reigns
both hands tightly
!You looked so alive!
dropping
previous engagements.

I saw you ride-
the uncomfortable, brutal, beautiful, honest films
the breaking bed
the falling stacks
your cool reserve

the growing distance
the awkward glances
our naked mouths dry of stale conversations

Then I knew
it would end.
But you did not see
over the high cups of caffeinated historical jargon
my sadness.
You could not speak
after thoughtful articulated letters
to your feelings.

I held my face like a poker card
so you can become a silhouette,

but

will you close
what you opened with music?

Or did you just want to dive in and out of me
to leave me in the solitude of your silence?

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Big White Elephant

Unfinished business that you cannot attend.

They did not leave a date
nor a time.
They just left-
mid conversation.

No matter where you move
or mountains you climb
or showers you take
or kisses you share
or beers you drink
or hearts you break
it is still there.
And you're not on the schedule.

Some call it baggage.
But after you sorted through them
dumped them onto others
scattered them
or lost and forgot them somewhere
you are still left-

with no appointment,
just questions,
an empty bag
and the
big
white
elephant.

So you wait
hoping it will leave
or that you wont notice it
and it shrinks,
sediments settle
until one day you cast
the first stone into still waters,
turning it brown.

Still no call.

So then you ignore it
and both feel neglected
absence, the painful reminder
angers.
You feed it,
inflate it
Yes! Maybe it will pop
and puff up like a cloud of smoke...
But it just grows so big
that you cannot move.

Still no reply.

So you try to embrace it-
wear it like a hat,
and when confronted with Them-
a mask.
It appears as a struggling smile
a intimate handshake
a skeletal hug
while you converse about anything
except the
big
white
elephant.

After that you begin to realize
that you are not invited
to the ending of this chapter.
It is closing, last call was ten minutes ago...
There is no waiting list,
there is no rescheduling.
There is no prize
no grand finale,
it ends


You are forced to make room for
and hide your
big
white
elephant.