Thursday, October 28, 2010

Dirty Little Tricks

Smoke
filled the room.
Dust layered
artifacts collect
accumulate.

The spaces
where I felt
most naked
porcelain
sacred
are now wrapped
in a dark mist.

Breathe deep.
Cough for me.
My fire's out
and I'm Looking
for the window
where I can vent.

Your door is locked.
Exhaust leaking in
which I wanted to mend
and I tried to defend
but they just left me breathless.

You appear Houdini
and just as easily
puff into a cloud.
My breeze is no match
to clear this place.

Smeared carbon
remaining
your silence
keeps staining,
it will not allow me the fresh air.

Falling

The desire to fall
resonates so strongly
echoing
live callings
from the past
return the long
achings for tomorrow

Like waves
weaving
in every aspect
of waking
mixing
in all actions
of being
surrounding
the subconscious
drive
to just
plummet and dive
into

Love
the magic
the mystery
the drug

Love
the addiction
the burn
the rub

Oh
why have you forsaken
so many tortured souls
bitter
denied
stuck
Why have you driven
so many to break the mold?
Expand
producing. producing.producing.
alive
ripe

Weave
please receive
Love
give a warm embrace

Push
Catch
Bend and fold
open
grow

Take
through time
its space
eliminate tomorrow's longing
so it may stop calling
return to the past
make it again
so may believe
so may see
Love

No stopping
it all

falls in the end.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Dreams and Forgetting

Sometimes
I wonder
if it was all,
the stars in your eyes
the smiles
exchanges
the icy paths
the mountain tops
the alibis,
if that one fateful night
where I was not myself
where I found you
the same
sad Sampson,
was all just a dream.

We are not friends
we can try to pretend
but we cannot speak
naturally
we cannot feel
neutrally
or perhaps dear
I should speak for myself.
Because your actions
have left me
with nothing.

So, this year
I set myself free.
This year
I will not be asking
or crying
or trying

I will see you
only in those
distant, ghostly
fading dreams

Because you are not the same
sad Sampson
I am not looking for you
and I am myself.
There will be many grateful nights
with no excuses.
There are valleys
with flowers and spring,
where I am deep down
smiling
into another
no wondering
Unconditionally.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hiccups

I want to let you go
I want you to know
That despite being summer, I am still freezing.
The songs still sting
And the guitar still rings
out notes that remind me of your being.

In these momentary lapses where I regress
I am put into the places
Where once you filled in these spaces
Leaving nothing
blank.

But now it's long over
and we've grown a little older
but there are some things that my heart won't let
shrink.

I want to let it go.
I want to love and grow.
But I still have this little aching.
Keeping me grounded
Still so confounded

It was a tragedy in the making.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

I Hope I Stick

The pile
of garbage
that accumulates as  we grow
of childhood treasures
of left socks
photographs
of old loves
lost or forgotten
of letters
promises
and songs
and artists
and books
and stories
and books
and books

the pile
growing higher
the more we live
the more we grow
the more we shed
the more we leave behind

Sometimes we sort
and poke through
sometimes we sulk
and bury
and sometimes
we are stained
burned
involuntarily
heavy weights
under its masses.

Out of this pile
I hope not
to be one faded
or forgotten
or crushing
no.
I hope that
I stand
out
(like you in mine)
glisten
and stick
like dawn
a good dance
a friend
like the scent of spring
humming
out amongst all the garbage
to greet you
clean
and untainted.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

The Day Love Died

I remember the day love died
When hearts stopped bleeding
When people refused to cry

I remember asking why
"It's too dangerous", they said
"Hurts too much to try"

But why should one try to love?
When it is something so simple,
So pure
Why deny what is natural?
So beautiful,
parts of us we should explore.

"Love is complicated and complex
You give love
but might not get it next.
And what good is love
if not in return?
This is why love will hurt you and burn."

How can it be dangerous?
It inspires, smiles,
and lives without malice.
 Love can create,
the opposite of hate,
an aspect of life, we should not try escape.

"It is a weapon, or a poison if you will...
Tares up you spirit, enough to kill.
If love makes us scared
it's not meant to be shared.
So now what good is your love for?
You're blind, not prepared"

No matter how hard I tried
to defend our love
They let it die
For the fear of
losing
and while refusing
empathy
and pain
Our hearts stopped bleeding
convinced of nothing to gain.

And with its last moments
the day now fulfilled,
when our hearts' murmurs
were at a stand-still,
And the frosty ice sunk
deeper inside
Love died silently
without a good bye.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Apathy

So what happens when you're tired
of the work
of your friends
of the news
you got the blues
and you have nothing more to say

Feels dumb, senses numb,
dulled between waking and existing

Don't want to do it
don't want to see it
don't want to hear it
never cared too much anyways

I'm too tired to be inspired
I'd rather just have it all fade away.