Sunday, June 15, 2014

All Children

We are all children
lost in strange long bodies,
with long lines of excuses etching deeper under our eyes.
We cover them to conceal ourselves from exposure,
for each limb and hair, although grown organically, are subjects,
objects for judgement.

We are all children
lost in a sea of confusion where innocence like foot prints and beach balls wash away with the tide.
We are all reaching out for salvation
or a buoy to carry us back to shore, where waves erode us some more, until we forget our naked selves,
forget what we were stretching towards.
Stretching, our bodies grew longer but we did not know why.

We are all children
forgetting the wonder in the puddles of low tides,
forgetting the important questions about the snails and why they stick to the rocks,
forgetting how to cry,
how to feel,
how to say I love you before bed
and know it will always be there in the morning.

We are all children
pretending to like our bodies,
pretending we are tough,
swimming away from shore and trying to keep afloat
as we choke down salty tears and water,
we are trying to prove ourselves
to ourselves
that it will all be ok,

because inside we are all children
reaching out for love
from ourselves. 

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I don't understand why I love you the way I do.

I offer it freely
which is what has always felt right,

yet everyone is telling me that I won't find what I am looking for, unconditional reciprocation, if I just give it away. I am supposed to make you work for it.

This logic has never made any sense to me.

It felt like saying,
you know, we love you and want you to understand how significant that is.
But instead of offering our love and all of its beautiful, nuanced complexities,
we are going to withhold it
because you have to prove that you are worthy of receiving what we already have for you, and are ready to give you.

Love does not need proof. Love does not need validation. Love is beautifully naive and optimistic. Love is hope and potential.
Love is about giving, growing, compassion and understanding.
Love knows no judgments. 

I am not one who likes to withhold my love. I keep that window open,
inviting and honest
like the way a child takes your hand and smilies,
offering their trust in you with every tiny finger,
offering you a chance to try your best at being trustworthy with every missing tooth.

I want to love you.
I want you wrap my tiny hands with yours and smile at you like the big skies over flatlands.
I want to share with you my enthusiasm in the sunrises,
my experiences in the pink and orange glow before night,
my curiosity for the changes in the clouds,
and my serenity in the stars
as we lay side by side on the hood of your car listening to the wolf sing
as spring gently melts away a bitter winter.
I would lay there forever if I could. 

I don't understand why I love you the way I do. You do not open your tiny hands and invite me through your window with gaps in your smile.
You are distant like the wolf
singing to a lover moon who does not return your call.

I am alone on a car waiting naively...
at least while it still feels right.