Saturday, August 28, 2010

Skylark

Why do I want to watch you
as humans admire birds in the sky?
Dancing, soaring, gliding
elegant marvelous creatures.

Why is it that in my youth
where I am the most heated
lit
passionate
that I must make some of the most
crucial decisions?

I feel
I burn
I desire
I burn
Why am I so dangerous
to no one else
but myself?

But if I behave
and do what Im told
I get by,
Then that light goes out
and the room grows cold
I die

Which leaves me looking
out
in your direction
for more birds
of hope
to remind me:
fly
be free
and live dangerously.

Fear is a safe,
horrible existance
but when coupled by love,
it can always be over
turned
into something
beautiful.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

To Know Love

What would you say if I told you
that I loved you at first sight

Because that moment I met you
I saw an eternity in your eyes

And I know we can never be together
and I know that it's not right

This time we'll live side by side
happy to know you in this life

What would you do if I confessed
That I miss you every day

Just for a moment, at least
and then it goes away

And I know I'm a little crazy
but there is nothing I can do

Because if I don't see you
the day turns a little blue

You inspire, awoke desire
My love grows more each day

I want to thank you deeply
Nothing more I can really say

To express the level of connection
I feel down in my bones

To know you is to love you
And I hope that is what I've shown.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Class Divides

Where does Class come in?
I am not speaking to the class where
you have it
if you you conduct yourself in a certain manner
or how you carry yourself.
No.
I am speaking to the Class
that is,
on the surface at least,
monetarily defined.

When raised
in a certain Class
one becomes influenced
undoubtedly
to their surroundings
whether it be comfort and security
or stress and instability
and so they carry these
deposits
with them as they grow.

These deposits come to
shape
the perspectives
in which one understands the world.
No one perspective is more right
or more wrong,
but we would like to argue so.

After the deposits and perspectives
rear the individual,
and the experiences they had
(or did not have)
create ideas
explanations
justifications
and realizations
we begin to see
how they feel they fit
or incorporate themselves
into their existence.

It is here one,
if they so choose,
solidifies
and can staunchly
define
align
and divide
them self.

If one is with
and the other without
then they are both prescribed
to different teams
with different goals
and different values.

This is where Class comes in.

We do not have to be defined
by what it decides
we have autonomy.

There are some aspects
if
you look
deep enough inside
humor
taste
nostalgia
that we cannot escape.

We fear misunderstanding
and crave the familiar
but this is not a safe place.
It insulates,

complacency.

This is why Class divides.
This is why
I do not allow
my Class to decide.

I will expose myself
I am open
I will not be surprised

I will catch myself
when looking down
when looking up
and question why.

I will not expect
and I will try to accept
even when I do not agree.

I will respect
I will direct
and try to embrace my enemy.

I can change
I can grow
I can understand
I can know

I am the one who answers and decides
I see how
and disagree
with how Class
divides.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Forgiveness

On a second glance
hindsight
higher places
better perspectives

I see
how my heart was frozen
locked
buried in snow
mourning it's death
preserving itself
for a new life.

On this new chance
beginning
conscious clean
opportunities open
like buds greeting spring

I melt.

My heart of ice sheds
tears
and listens
to the bird's song of freedom.

I unfold my fists

light enters
I tremble
not because I am scared
but because I remember
who I am

The levee breaks
wall crumbles
water washes
paralyzing venom

I move.

Air flowing
filling color

I return.
I learn.
I return.
I learn.

I forgive.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Afterthoughts

Perhaps once
I enjoyed the confusion
not fulling knowing
misunderstanding
pieces of puzzles

Perhaps once
it gave me a rush
gave me a thrill
made me feel alive
on my tip toes

perhaps, perhaps

I was a fool then.

Now
I find peace in clarity
in honesty
in sincerity

No encryptions
I will not look for
hidden messages
I will not take
SMALL gestures
disguised as something
innocent

I demand
at the very least
decency
respect
and the forth-righteousness
to say what it is
you truly want to say
openly
with no expectations.

Stop hiding.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Paper Hearts

If I walked a hundred miles,
all the way across towns
and I made it just in time to
collapse at your house
to whisper good night
to you, my sweet
would you then give
your love to me?

"No," she replied
quite incessantly.

If I worked for years
and labored for hours
waited till spring
to pick you fresh flowers
would you then
yield and say
now to you
I can give my love away?

"Flowers will die
and desires do too
this is why I will not
give my love to you"

What if I flew up high to the sky
and gathered the stars
that remind me of your eyes.
Then arranged them in your shape
and in your form
and each night for you,
had them dance and perform?
Then my darling
say it could be
that you would give
your love to me.

"With all of the dazzling presents
this world had to offer
I would have to decline
to keep my best interest in mind
even when the tone
of your voice grows softer.
You can give  and say things
but they don't replace
what is necessary
for my heart's embrace.
I do not believe you are lasting or true
I will not give my heart to you."

So what would I have to do
to prove
that I wanted
a true aim
a balanced game
and a heart holding
all of your love to gain?

Dismayed and sad,
he threw up his arms
and went to turn
away from the girl, uncharmed.
But as he left
pieces started to fall
of little crumpled paper hearts
mangled and small

She bent down
and picked them up,
all and then some,
put them together
until it was one
and looked up at his silhouette,
walking away
and felt the heart beating
with her's doing the same
and she yelled out
"Wait!"

"I am holding your heart
and I feel it is mine.
Now I know,
it has been this entire time.
This is the only thing that you needed to do
for me to give up my love to you."

And if you ever see him walking
across large towns,
searching for flowers
in spring's soft ground,
or making stars dance
up high in the sky
you will know why
.
The paper heart
remains safe with her
till the day they die.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Faltering

I falter-

The delicate, fine
thread to walk
between pensive
and madness

It is good to go deep
to the realms in which we sleep
and contemplate
subconscious
reason
and
life

Weave
back
and
forth

death
underneath
gone too deep
an inescapable truth
we are doomed to complete
livid and crazed
cycles of pain
ashamed

The fiber of knowledge
intoxicates
can make you insane.

It is good to think
but when you've gone to far
you lose your humanity
and forget who you are

leaving
the simplicity behind you
the sun
the reasons
and purpose that can come to
define you

Go deeper
be not afraid
think of the grandeur
imagine
exist
but do not
drown
yourself in your thoughts
go far beyond lost
obsess
and inflict
the most wicked
self loathing pain.

-Alone

Monday, August 9, 2010

Useless

Use
or
be used
Id rather choose

neither

I dont like
the abuse
as a fact of the matter
I would prefer, sir
to lose

all of it

My desire
if you were so kind to inquire
would be to reciprocate
integrate
love, nourish and
create

entirely

No part in your ploy
boy
not to destroy
and succumb to
your level
of inept

no tolerance

I rise
I expand
my mind
I find
no excuse
for it

yes
no

don't even try
it won't work this time
I know I'm good enough
not to take
your shit.

Useless is what it is.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Irreplaceable Chair

We are always rearranging

the furniture
seasonal decorations
clean dishes, dirty dishes

and making room

for new
for better
for comfort.

When we get a new chair,
one of a kind
unique in all ways imaginable,
we make space-
throw out the old one
push the couch to side a little
squeeze the coffee table in the middle-

filling and removing
continuous rearrangements
for the beautiful chair.

But what happens when your new chair,
after getting settled in
with scrapes and bruises
stains and memories,
were to leave?

The room squeezed around it
and now the untouched carpet lines act
as a shadow
of the beloved chair that was once their.

Now we feel the absence
the emptiness
and we want to fix it

but how do we fill that space?

We try rearranging
move the couch in there
the coffee table over
but somehow,
when before it felt crowded
it now feels too spare.

When finagling and arrangemtents
cease to work,
we try a new approach
tell ourselves we needed a new one,
the old chair was broke
and attempt to replace
in the empty space
a new and better chair.

But at the end of the day

when we try to settle in

we miss the stains

and start to being

admitting

we miss the unique

fitting

one of a kind

irreplaceable chair.