Moment

For Today,

Feeling such profound happiness
and sadness swirling inside like oil and water in a boiling pot
bubbling over me
down my cheeks
filling my vehicle with an energy from within
that generates such deep respect and admiration
for life,
existence,
love,
hate,
death,
destruction,
rebirth,
and everything in between.
The reason for this process,
I cannot explain
yet cannot imagine living without it.
It somehow completes us in these ever fleeting,
esoteric moments of complete, peace, acceptance and gratitude.

Thank you.

On Letting Go

I remember the moment I saw you, Bright early morning
I had still sleepy stardust in my eyes.
Taking any opportunity of escape,
I saw wandering in my mind
a light brighter than any sun.
Little Buddha, you sat
eyes closed
still
and radiant.
I woke
to your light
filling the room,
stirring up my insides,
washing away the stars
to rosy smiles greeting your mornings at the door.


Upon knowing you

I cannot say I observed enough
because I was never present. The idea of you,
constructed by my imagination prematurely
and dotted with nostalgic memories, terrified me away.
The more I felt inside,
the more I ran
from me
until I could not remember who I was
or why.
So, I sat in that space and waited for answers;

Answers you could not give,
only more questions
no matter how much I insisted.

Tired of waiting, I finally found myself in that space
and decided not to suspend the inevitable.
I tore myself away, against every emotional bone and
flinching heart muscle
to explore ideas of
solitude,
 platonicy,
stillness,
unconditionality,
forgiveness,
and growth.

You remain, Little Buddha
beckoning me to step out
in my reveries. You leave me,
Bright early morning, in my pasts,
dreams, and other intangible spaces.
I find myself there, heart full of sand slipping away like time into the void.
I want you
to know me as I am,
to feel blue infinity swirling inside me.

I feel here, now in letting go,
I may find myself
one day
naked on an island by the woods.
I will come to shore and gather the remains I sent out to sea
washed and sanded fragments of stars dancing on the water.
I will collect and stitch them together by moonlight
to the song of a singing loon. 
And in his incantation,
I will finally meet in those sunrises
a light that kisses my cheek pink
to greet each day,
and in those sunsets
a profoundness that dives into me
whispering goodnight.

Becoming

I can feel myself becoming.

I can feel the hard bone and life marrow conducting neon techno-colored
urges,
pulsing through the womb, seed and dirt to this body.

A body that changes without realizing,
a body that has transformed itself, both with and without my consent
into a tree bearing naked branches.

Long limbs of potential,

My branches bear hopes of
blossoms
budding.
They stretch for freedom but are being taken.

Wrapped around and bound together,
my branches hold words in place
negative white space
to contain size twelve font, double spaced times new roman numeral
funds of knowledge.

My gnarly naked tree body
feels hollowed. It wants to be the home
for flowers,
for animals pregnant with cooing fuzz and flesh,
for sleep in a deep moss whispering ancient wisdom
of a time in coral reefs washing up existence onto its shores.

My roots are thirsty.
They want to become entangled with yours
under the soil, swelling with love
to grow rings in new ages.
And with each ring,
blossom, leaf and winter,
a new promise
to stretch out, greet the yellow day,
and breathe life back
into everything.

My branches are growing buds


I can feel myself becoming
what I have always been
giving,
bridging air to earth,
life to death,
myself to this body;
I can feel the urges of being of everything
and belonging to everyone.
I feel myself becoming
simply me.