Wednesday, June 11, 2014


I don't understand why I love you the way I do.

I offer it freely
which is what has always felt right,

yet everyone is telling me that I won't find what I am looking for, unconditional reciprocation, if I just give it away. I am supposed to make you work for it.

This logic has never made any sense to me.

It felt like saying,
you know, we love you and want you to understand how significant that is.
But instead of offering our love and all of its beautiful, nuanced complexities,
we are going to withhold it
because you have to prove that you are worthy of receiving what we already have for you, and are ready to give you.

Love does not need proof. Love does not need validation. Love is beautifully naive and optimistic. Love is hope and potential.
Love is about giving, growing, compassion and understanding.
Love knows no judgments. 

I am not one who likes to withhold my love. I keep that window open,
inviting and honest
like the way a child takes your hand and smilies,
offering their trust in you with every tiny finger,
offering you a chance to try your best at being trustworthy with every missing tooth.

I want to love you.
I want you wrap my tiny hands with yours and smile at you like the big skies over flatlands.
I want to share with you my enthusiasm in the sunrises,
my experiences in the pink and orange glow before night,
my curiosity for the changes in the clouds,
and my serenity in the stars
as we lay side by side on the hood of your car listening to the wolf sing
as spring gently melts away a bitter winter.
I would lay there forever if I could. 

I don't understand why I love you the way I do. You do not open your tiny hands and invite me through your window with gaps in your smile.
You are distant like the wolf
singing to a lover moon who does not return your call.

I am alone on a car waiting naively...
at least while it still feels right.

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