Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Am I?

How do you start
an explanation of something
you have never seen or really
experienced before, but you have
the sensation that it is something that
may come to affect how each second of
your life will unfold. Like removing an object

from its package and taking it out so that it is
exposed in the world, seeing it this way for the
first time through this lense of clarity and wondering
why it had never know or had wanted knowledge about
this mode before. Because this fresh sensitivity has so many

excited nerves shouting and electrons jumping, carrying with them
new information about this unexplained territory that they take back
to their dimention and tell to their children before bed. It becomes, inevitably,
considered just a fantasy, or an idea that can only exist in the mind. And
once it leaves the vessel, the real air of the reality that we perceive to

be depletes it of its life force. But the children have not forgotten and
allow the ideas to breathe in their sleep and be in their sleep even when waking
because to them there is no difference between dreaming and being. They too visit
the sensational realities that exist with new skin feeling, clean eyes seeing, tentacle tongues
touching tasting, speaking, spitting the iridescence of the evanescence of the layers touching
edges only perceived in the fourth, the fifth dimensions... How do you start to explain this?

I woke up on the bus today after nodding off while reading George Orwell's 1984 to two men
sitting across from me. One asked me how I liked the book. After responding to him that it was interesting so far, he continued back to his conversation which seemed more like an interrogation but of the purest nature.

The man sitting next to him asked,
"If this is all a dream within a dream, how do we know we are real? How do we know that those trees are real? Because we can see them? Because we perceive them? Can  you prove language exists? Just because you hear it doesn't mean it's real.

What about that age- old question about the tree falling in the forest, and no one is there to hear it. Does it make a sound? Well there are a multitude of answers... and that multitude are four. One, the tree is perceived but not known. Two, the tree is known but not perceived. Three, the tree is neither perceived nor known and- four, the tree is both known and perceived. "

They exit the bus.

Now, after watching "Waking Life" a few days before, my mind is fresh with many of these ideas and cameos... and I am writing that feeling down, the feeling that begs me to ask, can we know and perceive simultaneously? Does that prove anything? Do I exist, or am I just a detail of someone's dream? Who is doing the dreaming? Are we collectively creating it and experiencing it?

My brain hurts. At least I think it's my brain...

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